Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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