I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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