ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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