whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Two words: blizzard sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
