That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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