No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
