my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my liver is dry heaving
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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