I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
