i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We smell like vodka and hangover
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