Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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