I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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