saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It's Friday. Sex?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
