I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
