the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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