Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
