But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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