You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
