Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I faked an abortion last night.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
