He is an equal opportunity slut.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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