im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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