shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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