I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
