I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
