it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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