You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Success! We fucked roommates!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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