shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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