why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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