I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
