I just saw a hot homeless man
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
