If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
