It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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