Your tits are I can't wait for
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
