This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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