I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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