Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
