did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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