You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
