real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
