their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
