I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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