I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
