It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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