Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
