i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
