There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
