I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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