He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
