Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that's an acceptable place to lick
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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