do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
