Who wears a wallet chain?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
