You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
