Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
