I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
